This article is based on Pastor Adrian Rogers' message, The Key to a Magnificent Marriage.
The seventh commandment, “Do not commit adultery,” is not given to bind us, but to liberate us. “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).
You shall not commit adultery.
The seventh Commandment deals with all immorality. In a nutshell, all sexual involvement outside of marriage is a sin against God.
The word “fornication” means any sexual immorality—before, after, or outside of marriage.
If you are sexually active before marriage, you are breaking the seventh commandment. Some will say, “But I’m not married!” You are committing adultery against the person you will marry, and building obstacles you will have to overcome after you are married.
Marriage today looks like a car wreck. What should we do?
One, we need to have compassion on those whose marriages have wrecked, and on those who have committed sexual sins. God forgives and restores. We need to teach that. Broken people do not need fingers pointing in their faces; they need people who will bandage them up.
Two, we need to teach our children. Did you know it is easier to get a marriage license than a driver’s license? We teach drivers how to drive, but young people getting married today don’t get a lot of help.
To break the cycle of broken homes and broken people, we need to teach young people how to have a godly covenant marriage.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
This verse is saying that marriage has the highest priority—even over the parent-child relationship. Therefore, parents must be preparing children to have their own homes.
The Hebrew wording in Genesis 2:24 gives the idea of welding or gluing. “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9).
Find two kids who consider divorce to be an option, and they will have greatly increased potential for breakup of their marriage. Everybody has problems in marriage. The difference between people who stay married and people who divorce is not in the problems, but in commitment. Get rid of the idea of divorce.
“They shall become one flesh” is more than simply a sexual union. It means that they will be one person, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
God loves you. When God says, “You shall not,” He’s just saying, “Don’t hurt yourself.” You are not smarter than God.
What is affected by sexual sins?
“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Young people today talk about “safe sex.” You are not supposed to have to worry about it. Let’s talk instead about sacred sex, within the sanctity of marriage?
Adultery is a sin against the home, and the children in that home.
The man who commits adultery tells his child, “Your mother is not worth much and your father is a liar and a cheat. Furthermore, honor is not nearly as important as pleasure. In fact, my child, my own satisfaction is more important than you are.” — Dr. R. Kent Hughes, former pastor of Wheaton College Church
You might say, “My sex life is none of your business.” But if you are part of the Church, it is. “So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another” (Romans 12:5).
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”
Historians tell us that sin brought down the Roman Empire, Greece, Egypt, Babylon. etc. Any enemy of the home is the enemy of society. People who treat sex lightly will treat other people lightly.
One day, the dam of God’s mercy will give way to the waters of God’s wrath. “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people” (Proverbs 14:34).
The Ten Commandments are not advice. They are holy laws. It is Almighty God who said, “You shall not commit adultery.”
When King David committed adultery, he was wise enough to pray, “Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight” (Psalm 51:4).
“Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul” (Proverbs 6:32). Why does he destroy his soul? Because he sins against Almighty God.
If you are not living in sexual purity, you have no right to call yourself a Christian. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites…will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; see also Revelation 21:8).
No matter how you glamorize it, God says, “My children do not live that way.”
Teach your children by showing them. Here are some things to help you to get your marriage back on track, and keep it on track.
Give your heart to Christ. If you have failed and sinned, bring it to Him. He will forgive, and He will not hold grudges. Come to Jesus, and He will cleanse you. (See Isaiah 1:18.)
He does not merely forgive you and then say, “Now do better.” He comes to live in you, energize you, and give you power day by day.
Love is a decision. God has commanded us to love, and anybody can love who chooses to. Decide to love, and devote yourself to God and your family.
Let your love continue to grow. Love is not like some diamond, which we acquire and keep, to treasure forever. Love is not static.
Love must be cultivated and nurtured to grow. If you do not love your spouse more than you did when you got married, then you love your spouse less. Feed that love.
Never flirt with others. But never stop flirting with your spouse!
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20).
Watch what you set in front of your eyes. You wouldn’t put garbage in your mouth; why put garbage in your brain? Do not say it won’t affect you. (See Proverbs 6:27.)
You don’t have to make up my mind constantly to be true to your spouse, or to not watch filth, because you have already made up your mind. Just have this deep determination: “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15b).
Exodus 20:14; 1 John 5:3; Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:9; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10,18; Romans 12:5; 1 Corinthians 6:15-16; Proverbs 6:27,32, 13:20, 14:34; Psalm 51:4; Revelation 21:8; Isaiah 1:18; Joshua 24:15
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Furthermore it has been said, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.” But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
Because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
