This article is based on Pastor Adrian Rogers' message, Family Revival.
Our families are not any stronger than our individuals. Our churches are not any stronger than our families. Our nation is not any stronger than our churches.
How important it is that we have genuine revival in all these spheres—but it starts with the family.
Sociologists and philosophers have tried to redefine the family and minimize what our Lord Jesus taught about it.
For example, homosexuality has gone from a sin to a “sickness” to a socially acceptable practice and a category of marriage. We are told that pornography is a victimless crime—a lie out of Hell. They say it is all right to live together and not be married, and that unwed motherhood is not a problem at all. So, little children come into this world without the benefit of father and mother, as God intended.
Our society’s one moral absolute is this: “Thou shalt not be judgmental.” You can do anything, except call sin by its name.
God created marriage in the very beginning. We need to understand what marriage is all about because we have a generation that has ceased to be anchored by the Word of God.
So, let’s go back to the instructions.
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:3-6).
This is God’s plan for a Christian family. How would a carpenter build a house if he did not know what a house was? You cannot build a marriage until you understand what marriage is.
From Genesis, God has set the tone for marriage to meet the deepest psychological, physiological, emotional and spiritual needs of human beings.
In Matthew 19:5, three verb phrases stand out: leave, be joined, and become one flesh.
In order to be married, a person has to leave father and mother.
That does not mean you disrespect your parents or love them any less. But Jesus is saying that the marriage relationship supersedes the relationship of child and parent. The apron strings, and sometimes the financial strings, need to be cut so that children can have the home God intended.
Marriage is to be a permanent relationship. Do not consider divorce as an option, whatsoever. “Well, we have problems.” Do tell! Who doesn’t?
The KJV uses the word cleave instead of be joined. To “cleave” means to weld, or glue; to put together in a permanent relationship. Make up your mind that when you get married, you throw away the parachute. You cannot please God by breaking up your home.
Why does God want us to be one?
God has made us one flesh physically.
But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth (Malachi 2:15).
In plain English, that means God has made us one so that we might have godly children. How are we going to populate the world with godly children if godly people don’t have children?
Your spouse is to be not only your lover but also your friend. Like a bow and a violin, one without the other cannot make music. Together, they make incredible music.
We are to be one psychologically, to have someone with whom we can share the most intimate thoughts.
There is no deeper communion than the communion that a husband and wife have with one other when they are having communion with the Lord.
Make it a practice to pray together every morning and every evening. He prays for her; she prays for him. Pray for your children. Pray for your church family. As you are praying, God’s Spirit is binding your hearts together.
God has designed the family, and this is His plan for it. You cannot change it or improve upon it.
The devil wants to destroy your family.
They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 19:7-9).
Hard hearts are energized by the devil to destroy the Christian home.
The godly rejoice that God commands unconditional love for husbands and wives.
If we have this unconditional love, think about what that will bring into the family. Rather than fear, it will bring security because you and your spouse will know that you are loved, no matter what. Peace will replace that guilt of feeling like you have failed if you are not able to keep up. Joy will replace anger and resentment.
Remember: this kind of love is not, primarily, an emotion. It is an act of the will.
Have you failed? Maybe you are thinking, This is too late for me. I already have a broken home. Take what you have left and bring that to God.
Reading one article is not going to change your family. But you can make a decision.
There will be many problems, but say, “We can, and by God’s grace we will work it out.” It may take time, but you can do it if you will. There is a war on the Christian home. But with God, there is always hope.
Make certain Christ is the head of your home. If Christ is the core, your home will stand, because it is built on rock.
Feed your love day by day. Love is like a flower that needs to be nurtured, cultivated.
Never flirt with another man or another woman, even in jest.
Never cease to flirt with your spouse.
If you have a broken home, remember that is not a dead end. If it was your fault, ask God for forgiveness. If somebody has sinned against you, let the love of Jesus Christ cleanse the bitterness out of your heart.
If you are unmarried, marry only in the Lord. There are a lot of things that are worse than not being married, and number one is being married to the wrong person. Be patient. The way to find the right one is to be the right one, and God will help you.
Revival in the Bible is not a religious spasm or worked-up enthusiasm, but a genuine, deep work of God that causes repentance. Personal revival helps us to have family revival. Family revival brings church revival. Church revival leads to national revival—and it begins with you getting your heart right with God.
Matthew 19:3-9; Malachi 2:15
…Admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed (Titus 2:4b-5).
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church (Ephesians 5:28-29).
