How to Have a Happy Family

We all want to be part of a happy family. We want to be loved and accepted and welcomed. We want to experience the intimacy and affection that is only possible within the family.

If we’re married, we want to be close with our spouse. If we have kids, we want to love them deeply and for them to love us in return.

But how is it possible to have a happy family? Everywhere you look, there are miserable, unhappy families. Husbands and wives argue and fight with one another. Parents get angry at their children and the children are angry in return. There is constant discord and relational strife.

The Bible contains the secret to a happy family. Within its pages, you will find the divine prescription for familial joy.

In this post, we’re going to look at what God’s word has to say about the family. When you understand God’s truth and apply it within your family, you will see an amazing transformation.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

God could have created Adam to be self-sufficient and live by himself, but He didn’t.

Instead, God declared that Adam needed a companion to help him. Marriage was part of God’s creation from the very beginning.

But God didn’t stop there. God also ordained that married men and women would come together and have children. When God created Adam and Eve, He said to them:

Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth (Genesis 1:28).

And so Eve gave birth to Cain, Abel, and numerous other children. Her children had children, and those children had children, and so on.

Are you starting to see the big picture? God loves marriages and children and families. More specifically, God loves your family. He wants you to have a happy, joy-filled, God-glorifying family. When your marriage is joyful, it honors God. When you love your kids and they love you back, God is pleased.

So how do you create the happy family that pleases God? By obeying the commands God has given in His word. In the Bible, God has clearly marked out the path to joy.

Let’s take a closer look at what God has to say.

Pastor Adrian Rogers says:

"Many couples today do not have a magnificent marriage. Many do not even have a mediocre marriage. In fact, many have a miserable marriage. And the devil knows that if he can hurt us at home, he can hurt us everywhere — in the church, in the school, in society, and in the nation. So Satan levels his biggest artillery at our homes."

If you have a strong marriage and all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with stress, trouble, and weakness, it won't matter. You will be able to go into the world with strength.

So how can you have a “magnificent marriage” that will enable you to move out into the world with strength?

In Ephesians 5, God speaks to both husbands and wives. He gives wonderful commands that, when followed, lead to a happy marriage. In Ephesians 5:25, God says to husbands:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her...

If you are a husband, you are called to sacrificially love your wife, just as Christ sacrificially loved the church. Pastor Adrian Rogers notes several characteristics about this sacrificial love:

• It is passionate - Jesus loved the church (and you) so intensely that He was willing to die for it. Husbands should love their wives with the same passion.

• It protects - Jesus is committed to protecting and preserving His church. Husbands should protect their wives with the same dedication.
  
  
• It provides - Jesus always provides for all the needs of His people. In the same way, husbands should seek to meet all the emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of their wives.

When a husband sacrificially, zealously, passionately loves his wife, it honors the Lord and leads to a happy marriage.

In Ephesians 5:33, God speaks to wives, saying, “...let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

If you are a wife, God calls you to lovingly respect your husband. When your husband sees that you respect him, it encourages and strengthens him. It helps him to sacrificially love you, be passionate toward you, zealously protect you, and consistently provide for you.

Are you starting to see how husbands and wives must work together to create a wonderfully happy marriage? When the husband sacrificially loves his wife and the wife lovingly respects her husband, wonderful things happen. God is honored and both the husband and wife experience great joy.

A husband’s prayer for marriage:

Lord, thank you for my wife. She is a wonderful gift to me from You. She is my helper, my companion, my friend. I desire to honor both her and You.

Please empower me to supernaturally, sacrificially love my wife. Help me to love her passionately, just as you loved the church and gave yourself up for it. Help me to protect her, just like you always protect your church. Help me to provide for her, as you constantly provide for the church.

I can’t do these things on my own, but I know that you can give me the strength to do them. You desire that my marriage be filled with happiness, and because of this, I know you’ll help me to love, cherish, and honor my wife.

In Jesus' name, amen.

A wife’s prayer for marriage:

Lord, thank you for my husband. He is a delightful gift from you. You have given him to me because You love me and want good things for me. I desire to honor both You and him.

Help me to respect my husband. Empower me to supernaturally love him in both good times and bad. Enable me to be a consistent source of encouragement to him. You brought us together so that I might be a companion and helper to him. Strengthen me to help him.

I am not capable of accomplishing these things on my own, but I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I know that you want me to have a happy marriage. Thank you that you’re going to give me the grace I need to obey you and honor my husband.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Proverbs 22:6 puts it this way,

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

What does it look like to train up a child in the ways of the Lord? At least two things should be included.

First, there should be consistent, regular instruction from God’s word.

This can take many different shapes and forms. You could read the Bible to your kids at breakfast before they go to school. If your kids are older, you could have them read a set amount every day and then have conversations about what they read. You could listen to the Bible together using a Bible app.

These times of instruction don’t need to be overly long. Consistency is the key. Even just a few minutes a day is a great start. God will reward your efforts and help your children to know Him.

In addition to regular times of Biblical instruction,

Second, there should also be spontaneous instruction throughout the day.

Pastor Adrian Rogers describes it this way:

"Children cannot—and should not—be force-fed the Word of God. Try touching your own palate now. It makes you swallow. Parents need to create a hunger and thirst in their children for the things of God by presenting the truths of God in an appealing and compelling way, showing them moment by moment, throughout the “daily-ness” of life, how godly principles impact every aspect of life—and decision-making."

As you go through your day, look for opportunities to show your children how the word of God applies to different circumstances. Show them how the Bible speaks to relationships and finances and fear and trials. Help them understand that the word of God truly is living and active, and that it’s relevant to our lives today.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says:

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Take every opportunity to teach your children the ways of God. Converse about Biblical truths as you drive your kids to school and eat dinner and put them to bed and wake them up.

The bottom line is this: the secret to happy children is to regularly point your kids to God.

Now, to be clear, this doesn’t mean that if you somehow perfectly train your child in the ways of God, they will 100% be saved. No, your child must accept Christ personally.

Pastor Adrian Rogers said:

"Remember that Proverbs 22:6 is a principle, not a promise. A parent cannot override a child’s will. You can do everything right, and your child can still rebel against God."

However, faithful training in the ways of God does prepare your child to accept Christ. It provides them with the knowledge they need to have saving faith. It also helps answer questions your children may have that would hinder them from coming to God.

Someone who Pastor Rogers was known to quote, the great preacher Charles Spurgeon, he said:

"I cannot tell you how much I owe to the solemn words of my good mother. While we were yet little children, we sat round the table and read verse by verse, and she explained the Scripture to us."

God used the efforts of Spurgeon’s mother to bring him to Christ. Be encouraged that God will use your efforts as well!

There are times when I don’t have the right words or know the answers. But I know that you can use my imperfect efforts to do great things. Please show Yourself to my children and lead them to believe in You.

I thank you that You love my children even more than I do. I believe that You will work in their hearts and draw them to You. I believe that You will use my flawed efforts to accomplish wonderful things in their lives.

In Jesus' name, amen.

He wants you to experience incredible intimacy and closeness with your spouse and children.

God is pro-family in every way.

Pastor Adrian Rogers said:

"Why families? In them we experience the deepest love, apart from His, we will ever know. The family is our training ground for life. It’s His workshop where the members become some of His best tools to prune, polish and refine us—sanding down the rough edges of our lives!"

If there isn’t much joy in your family, don’t be discouraged. God desires to change that. He wants to fill your family with His divine gladness. Consider doing these two things:

• Pray - Ask the Lord to do a deep work in every member of your family, including you. Ask God to draw your family members to Him and to help them love Him. If any of your family members are not Christians, ask God to save them.
  
  
• Start with yourself - Instead of focusing on the deficiencies of your family members, focus on areas where you need to change. Do you need to grow in loving your wife? Do you need to respect your husband more? Do you need to be more faithful in training your children? Ask God to help you change and honor Him.

God will honor your prayers and efforts to change. He will prune you, polish you, refine you, and make you more like Him!